Excerpt from a Cultural Autobiography

I took a class this summer on teaching ELL students.  Part of the course is studying culture so we can better understand what makes our students who they are.  One of our assignments was to look at different areas of our lives and select four that make us who we are.  Most Americans when asked will say that they don't have a culture.  They don't really think about what makes a culture what it is.  It just is.  

I thought the same thing until I started to dive into the ones I chose.  Some areas I have already spent a lot of thought on.  But one area in particular I hadn't spent too much time with.  The subject of religion and faith is a touchy one.  In my profession and in much of my life I have grown accustomed to a "don't ask, don't tell" sort of philosophy.  I have my strong beliefs but I don't really share this side of me with others for fear of offending them and alienating myself from any future relationship.  Well, with this assignment I decided to throw caution to the wind.  She asked...so I delivered.  I'm posting here the excerpt on religion/beliefs.  You may love it, you may hate it.  You are welcome to think whatever you want because this is me.  It's who I am and this is the fundamental basis behind what makes me...me. 

Religion/Beliefs

This is a tough one for me because when it comes to the world I work in, my beliefs can be abrasive to people.  So I don’t talk about it much.  I don’t try to be abrasive but a person told me once that just looking at me is a reminder of what I believe and it’s annoying.  So apparently I generate stress and irritability just going about my day.  The funny thing is, this is the one area of me that I feel is the most defining.  It’s not only who I am, but what defines my existence.  Without my identity in my faith my life would be pointless. 

It would be easy to say I was Lutheran, Catholic, or any number of other mainstream religions.  But I don’t identify with any of them.  Even the use of the term “Christian” is too broad for people get a sense of what I believe.  They start looking at the history of the Crusades and imagine crazy people on street corners screaming that the end is near.  They think about these things and then their gaze settles on me.  Suddenly

I’m an evil, bigoted, homophobic fanatic who has no room for anyone in my brain or heart or grace to accept others for who they are.  I don’t even get a chance to share this bit of me before they’ve already decided who and what I am.  So I don’t say anything. I smile and nod and love others regardless. But I can’t ignore who I am.  I have been designed for a purpose.  And on my way to that purpose I love, listen, comfort, honor, praise, and cherish others.  Regardless.

So what do I believe?  I believe that God created a perfect world.  I believe that He created mankind for companionship so that He might walk with us – not rule over us, much like how a parent walks with their child as they grow and learn.  I believe that He created us with free will so that we might choose to love Him, or not.  I believe that mankind chose to ignore God’s warning in the beginning which set into motion a world that is filled with pain, suffering, tragedy, and death.  Not because He is unloving and uncaring but because every one of us has the choice and the freedom to walk with Him or to pass Him by.  I believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God and is His love letter to us.  He leaves us instructions on what is best and what his hopes and dreams are for his children.  But like my own children, I can choose to read and follow his directions or I can choose to go my own way and hope for the best.  Contrary to what the media says, I am called to love everyone.  I don’t agree with everyone.  We have differing views on everything from politics to business to family to relationships.  The bible is very clear on what God’s desires are for His children but He never says to stop loving the person.  I don’t care if someone decides to paint themselves purple and marry a grape while sacrificing live shrimp on the altar to some deity they made up.  It’s not my place to pass judgment on them.  That’s not why I’m here.  I’m here to love them.  

My older daughter, Olivia, is following in my footsteps.  I am also an older sister.  Her and I both have younger sisters whom we love to boss around.  There’s a special kind of happy that takes place when you can order your younger sister to do something – and she does it!  Sadly, many Christians seem to like to take on this role with mankind as well.  They’re the bossy older sibling.  They stand up proud and tall and point out everything that is wrong with everyone else while maintaining an almost perfect persona.  However, Matthew 7:4 says “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” (NIV)  I love how The Message puts it, (v.7-5) "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment.  That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.  It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own.  Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt?  It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part.  Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."  

I am a flawed human being who has a lot to learn and even more that needs fixing.  I can offer a hand to someone who is struggling too and share my failures and successes but I can’t go all “big sister” on them and point out everything they’re doing wrong and what they need to fix.  God modeled this for us when He sent His son.  Jesus not only got down in the dirt with us, walked with us, cried with us, and rejoiced with us, but He went so far as to die as a sacrifice to redeem us from our sinful selves.  For all the mildly annoying and the appallingly horrible things I have thought and done in my life, He took the punishment and died in my place!  John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (NIV)   He not only said it, He did it.  Though we hurt Him beyond anything we can comprehend, He loved us in the ultimate way anyone can – by becoming human, walking with us in all of our awfulness, and dying so that we can be with Him again as He had originally intended.  I have accepted this amazing gift with a humble and grateful heart.  I have done nothing to deserve it and can’t even begin to repay this debt.  He has loved,

cherished, and accepted me with all of my flaws.  So then I need to model this and extend the same grace to others.  I don’t always agree with them but I don’t have to.  I’m called to love them.  That’s it.  When Olivia gets too bossy with Hattie, I gently remind her, “I’m the mom.  Let me do my job, okay?”  When I get too judgmental and up on my soap box, God extends His hand, helps me down, and gently reminds me, “I’m God.  Let me do my job, okay?”  

Brownies, brownies, and more brownies!

I love brownies.  I REALLY love brownies.  I always thought they were nice until I had my first daughter five years ago.  When I was in the hospital, my mother-in-law brought me fruit to munch on.  Strawberries were among the fare in the basket.  One look at them and I thought, "BROWNIES!".  When my brother-in-law came, he and his girlfriend offered to bring us some dinner from a shop nearby.  I asked if they could please bring me a brownie too and ever since I've been hooked! 

With this new found love came quite an intensive buying of box mixes.  "Brownies from scratch???  Is that possible???"  I didn't think it was within my grasp.  But, whenever I made the box variety, they would be almost burned on the edges but gooey in the middle (gross gooey, not yummy gooey).  I tried and tried to fix the problem.  Bake longer, bake shorter, higher temperature, lower temperature, moving the rack, and finally just dealing with either burned edges or using a spoon in the middle.

But then it happened: I LOOKED for a recipe for brownies!  Low and behold, on www.allrecipies.com I found the most wonderful, yummy, quick, foolproof recipe for brownies!  The best part?  No chemicals to try to turn it into something like what a brownie should be.  This morning, I remembered I still had one more box of mix in my cupboard.  I thought I'd try it since it was sitting there all lonely looking without its friends around anymore.  So, I helped it fulfill its destiny.  Yup....WAY better from scratch.  :o)

Gear Review - Nike Featherlight Dri-Fit Women's Visor

So I bought this visor when I was getting new running shoes yesterday (but that's a whole other story...).  I was waiting for one of the sales staff to bring out a selection of shoes and saw some sitting on the wall - glowing like a professional runner's beacon.  I may have even heard a choir singing in the background. 

Now keep in mind that during this whole running journey I've had this "I'm not going to get sucked into that" sort of mentality.  A person can easily spend hundreds and even thousands on gear to hopefully help them run better, longer, faster, etc.  But in the end it's still just you and your feet. 

Anyway, back to the visor.  I had been wearing a chunky cotton visor that I think I got in a lost and found somewhere.  It soaked up sweat like a pillow on the Titanic and looked as such by the time I got done with a run.  But I used it because it's what I had.  Enter the Nike Featherlight Dri-Fit visor for women.  All I can say is, "where have you been my whole...um...running life?"  I love it!  It's light so you barely feel it on your head, the sweat wicks away (I'm not really sure where it goes so I'm going to assume that some sort of alternate universe portal opens up in the bill), the bill is small enough to keep visibility high but big enough to shade your face, and best of all, my hair looks super cute popping out the top in a messy knot.  And lets face it, who doesn't want to look cute on a run?

Content But Not Complacent

For those who know me, I've recently started running. On my morning runs I have quite a bit of time to think - especially considering I don't run all that fast. Some days I plan what I'll be doing with the rest of my day, some days I think about what yummy things I can treat myself to after, and some days I find myself complaining about various things in my life. Nothing major of course, just the ususal "my house is too small", " why do my knees ache so much?"," I wish I had more money so I could just pay someone to make my yard look nice", or "why do I get up so early to torture myself when I know I'll be running the kids around the rest of the day?".

Recently I've been repremanding myself for all the complaining I do. I feel like I've been dragging Eeyore's cloud around and I don't like it. Having heard quite a few sermons on contentment I know that this cloud is something of my own creation to serve....well...me I guess. Face it. As much as we hate to be glum, don't we secretly revel in how good a pity party feels? Philippians 2:14,15 says "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe" (NIV). A shining star. A star that shines so brightly that it can be seen anywhere in the entire universe! Wow! When I complain about my life (either to myself or to others) it's draining. It drains them and it drains me of energy. Like a black hole I suck the life out of everything around me when I grumble. I want to be a bright shining star! A star that gives off light to uplift those around me!

Now, how is this different from complacency? When I think of the two I have a hard time telling the difference. I know that contentment is supposed to be good and complacency is supposed to be bad but why? Both evoke a refusal to be negative. Contentment is defined as being "satisfied with a certain level of achievement, good fortune, etc., and not wishing for more." Ugh...... not wishing for more? Really? *tosses list to Santa out window* Complacency, however, is defined as "a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements." Looking at both of these definitions I still have a hard time seeing the difference because both elicit a sort of non-response. I love how complacency is talked about in Zephaniah 1:12 "At that time I will search Jerusalem with lamps and punish those who are complacent, who are like wine left on its dregs, who think, 'The Lord will do nothing, either good or bad.'" Yikes! There is a definite view on complacency and it's place with the Lord.

So what is the difference? To be content and to be complacent are choices that need to be made. CHOICES. We can choose to be content or we can choose to be complacent. Contentment means that we choose to aknowledge our blessings, we are thankful for what we have, and we choose to be okay with the place that God has put us at this time in our lives. We praise Him for the challenges that make us grow and we thank Him for the soul stretching that takes place in difficult situations. We also choose to put aside our complaining to be shining stars that lift up and edify those around us instead of like black holes. To be complacent means that instead of noting the blessings of others but being fully satisfied with our own, we say that there is no need for more because we are already the best. We are at the top and there is no more need for growth or stretching of ourselves. A sort of "I have arived" way of thinking. That everything is a coast downhill that requires no more work on our part. This way of thinking can be dangerous because it invites disaster. It's when we slip into complacency that we are blindsided by life. When we are content, however, we are satisfied with now but constantly at the ready.

So now what? Now I choose to be content, not complacent with my life because I know that the Lord has great plans for me and my family. I will be constantly at the ready to grow with whatever He brings to the table but content with where He has me now. I can't fret about what's past or worry about the future becuase I have no control over those. I give those to Him and contentedly wait for what He has for me next.

New Things

So, this is my first blog ever.  I've never set one up and never posted to one.  I didn't even set this one up!  I'm a very verbal person and tend to rant to my husband at the end of my work day.  Not on anything in particular.  Just whatever bee happened to be in my bonnet at the time.  During a particularly long stretch about health, food, and America's love affair with convenience food, Dave suggested that I blog about it.  I was hesitant but receptive to the idea.  So, being the tech guy he is, he set up this amazing blog complete with a very artistic shot of our 1940's kitchen.  As you can see, it has taken a while for me to do anything with it.  But, I plan to try.  I have lots of ideas - health, fitness, whole food vs. raw food diets, child rearing, the state of our education system, politics....  Hopefully these things will inspire many, offend very few, and not get me fired.  So, here's to new things!

Yummy breakfast

Tried a little experiment this morning for breakfast, and was pleasantly surprised! Tasted kinda like the regular kiddie cereals loaded with sugar, but without the guilt. Think cocoa pebbles, but with 10g fiber, omega-3 from flaxseed, no saturated fats, sweetened with cane juice, no artificial flavors or colors, twice the calcium of dairy milk, etc. It's a win-win!

Uncle Sam Original Cereal plus Silk Pure Almond Dark Chocolate milk.

Ugh!

I've had another food/health moment today. After the recent "sizzling" instant cappuccino experience, I read the labels of all my instant treats I had on hand...

I think I'm done.

Bad oils, preservatives, anti-caking agents, artificial flavorings, and that whatever-it-is that instantly creates foam... my body has to deal with me putting that crap in, kidneys have to filter it...

To the trash it goes.