Excerpt from a Cultural Autobiography

I took a class this summer on teaching ELL students.  Part of the course is studying culture so we can better understand what makes our students who they are.  One of our assignments was to look at different areas of our lives and select four that make us who we are.  Most Americans when asked will say that they don't have a culture.  They don't really think about what makes a culture what it is.  It just is.  

I thought the same thing until I started to dive into the ones I chose.  Some areas I have already spent a lot of thought on.  But one area in particular I hadn't spent too much time with.  The subject of religion and faith is a touchy one.  In my profession and in much of my life I have grown accustomed to a "don't ask, don't tell" sort of philosophy.  I have my strong beliefs but I don't really share this side of me with others for fear of offending them and alienating myself from any future relationship.  Well, with this assignment I decided to throw caution to the wind.  She asked...so I delivered.  I'm posting here the excerpt on religion/beliefs.  You may love it, you may hate it.  You are welcome to think whatever you want because this is me.  It's who I am and this is the fundamental basis behind what makes me...me. 

Religion/Beliefs

This is a tough one for me because when it comes to the world I work in, my beliefs can be abrasive to people.  So I don’t talk about it much.  I don’t try to be abrasive but a person told me once that just looking at me is a reminder of what I believe and it’s annoying.  So apparently I generate stress and irritability just going about my day.  The funny thing is, this is the one area of me that I feel is the most defining.  It’s not only who I am, but what defines my existence.  Without my identity in my faith my life would be pointless. 

It would be easy to say I was Lutheran, Catholic, or any number of other mainstream religions.  But I don’t identify with any of them.  Even the use of the term “Christian” is too broad for people get a sense of what I believe.  They start looking at the history of the Crusades and imagine crazy people on street corners screaming that the end is near.  They think about these things and then their gaze settles on me.  Suddenly

I’m an evil, bigoted, homophobic fanatic who has no room for anyone in my brain or heart or grace to accept others for who they are.  I don’t even get a chance to share this bit of me before they’ve already decided who and what I am.  So I don’t say anything. I smile and nod and love others regardless. But I can’t ignore who I am.  I have been designed for a purpose.  And on my way to that purpose I love, listen, comfort, honor, praise, and cherish others.  Regardless.

So what do I believe?  I believe that God created a perfect world.  I believe that He created mankind for companionship so that He might walk with us – not rule over us, much like how a parent walks with their child as they grow and learn.  I believe that He created us with free will so that we might choose to love Him, or not.  I believe that mankind chose to ignore God’s warning in the beginning which set into motion a world that is filled with pain, suffering, tragedy, and death.  Not because He is unloving and uncaring but because every one of us has the choice and the freedom to walk with Him or to pass Him by.  I believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God and is His love letter to us.  He leaves us instructions on what is best and what his hopes and dreams are for his children.  But like my own children, I can choose to read and follow his directions or I can choose to go my own way and hope for the best.  Contrary to what the media says, I am called to love everyone.  I don’t agree with everyone.  We have differing views on everything from politics to business to family to relationships.  The bible is very clear on what God’s desires are for His children but He never says to stop loving the person.  I don’t care if someone decides to paint themselves purple and marry a grape while sacrificing live shrimp on the altar to some deity they made up.  It’s not my place to pass judgment on them.  That’s not why I’m here.  I’m here to love them.  

My older daughter, Olivia, is following in my footsteps.  I am also an older sister.  Her and I both have younger sisters whom we love to boss around.  There’s a special kind of happy that takes place when you can order your younger sister to do something – and she does it!  Sadly, many Christians seem to like to take on this role with mankind as well.  They’re the bossy older sibling.  They stand up proud and tall and point out everything that is wrong with everyone else while maintaining an almost perfect persona.  However, Matthew 7:4 says “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” (NIV)  I love how The Message puts it, (v.7-5) "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment.  That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.  It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own.  Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt?  It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part.  Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."  

I am a flawed human being who has a lot to learn and even more that needs fixing.  I can offer a hand to someone who is struggling too and share my failures and successes but I can’t go all “big sister” on them and point out everything they’re doing wrong and what they need to fix.  God modeled this for us when He sent His son.  Jesus not only got down in the dirt with us, walked with us, cried with us, and rejoiced with us, but He went so far as to die as a sacrifice to redeem us from our sinful selves.  For all the mildly annoying and the appallingly horrible things I have thought and done in my life, He took the punishment and died in my place!  John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (NIV)   He not only said it, He did it.  Though we hurt Him beyond anything we can comprehend, He loved us in the ultimate way anyone can – by becoming human, walking with us in all of our awfulness, and dying so that we can be with Him again as He had originally intended.  I have accepted this amazing gift with a humble and grateful heart.  I have done nothing to deserve it and can’t even begin to repay this debt.  He has loved,

cherished, and accepted me with all of my flaws.  So then I need to model this and extend the same grace to others.  I don’t always agree with them but I don’t have to.  I’m called to love them.  That’s it.  When Olivia gets too bossy with Hattie, I gently remind her, “I’m the mom.  Let me do my job, okay?”  When I get too judgmental and up on my soap box, God extends His hand, helps me down, and gently reminds me, “I’m God.  Let me do my job, okay?”